The worst things about being a Mum

Some of the downsides to being at home with the kids all day….

People treat you as though you have nothing in your life except children (Sometimes sadly this is true)

Every time you go anywhere yu have people asking about them. For gods sake, I have one hour a week where I dont have them with me! Can we PLEASE talk about something else.

People dont seem to remember that before you had kids, you did in fact have a life. You worked, Went out and got so hammered you fell over in nightclubs dancing with your mates (Much to the delight of the lads around you). In other words, you didnt suddenly wake up one morning, aged 29 with two kids.

You apparently lose the abaility’s and skills you had before giving birth and people just dont respect the fact that you had jobs where you worked bloody hard, you made a lot of money for various businesses and handled huge contracts so yes, you do know a little bit about promotion and organising things! you are also capable of far more than tidying a house, and making boat out of cardboard boxes.

Sometimes, you can go all day without a proper conversation until your husband gets in from work.

Your friends all suddenly vanish once the “cute ikkle baby” starts to run around and need entertaining.

You have to plan 6 weeks in advance if you want to go out for a night.  You cant suddenly sit there and think “sod it Im going to get hammered tonight and crawl in at five am!

Any spare money you get tends to go on clothes for he kids instead of treating yourself to a new eyeshadow (Not that you ever get time to wear the bloody stuff these days!)

 You reminise about times when you got a lie in without either listening to a baby/toddler shouting at you for attention or last nights babysitter ringing you at 9am to find out if your coming to collect your child at anytime soon.

Because you dont work, you dont have interesting work stories or stories about the previous weekends antics, you just have stories about the latest trick your child has learnt.

Your best friends are a 1 and 2 year old who are unable to say more than one word sentances!

You spend ages trying to think of new eays to get your kids to eat Jacket potatoes that involve pretending they are various exciting adventre foods, ie jacket with Beans gets split in half and ou pretend its a boat swimming through a sea of backed beans!

So the next time that someones talking to you about their kids and your thinking “Oh god, not again” just remember what Ive writen, maybe she’s not the most exciting person in the world these days, but at one point, she was dancing on tabletops with drag queens and doing stuff far more exciting than a lot of you have ever done.